Burn Out, yet again
Over the last days, I've hit a sort of burn out yet again.
My oldest son, who I often call "Squirrel" decided to set a super hot skillet on my laminate countertop Saturday morning, burning the shit out of it. He couldn't wait for Spam to cook at "4" on the dial.. no no.. he had to put the halogen burner on "HI" and then wonder why the kitchen was filling with smoke from the burning hot oil.
So my countertop, brand new BTW, now has three chunks melted out of it. In a fit of rage, I took him to Home Depot, got a new countertop to the tune of 79.00 and a new circular saw (Merry Fucking Christmas mom. You get a new power tool. Sorry that you had to pay for it yourself.) By the time I paid for end caps and sealant for the sink, it was 135.00 for his fun fun mistake.
He now owes me labor around the house at 5.00 an hour to make up for it. I already got my gutters cleaned out at 2 hours of work. Only 125.00 to go!
My living room is a mess now. I have a new countertop on the floor. I have to cut a hole out of it for the sink. Tools are all over my dining room floor waiting. It will all get done come vacation, which is two weeks away.
Mentally-- I'm wondering how long I can make it with an autistic teen. When he was little, it was more difficult in many ways. A five year old child laying on the floor throwing a fit in public is a huge embarassment. You stop going out. You stop having friends over. Your friends just stop coming around. People look at you like you're a bad parent. It's your fault your kid is a freak show.
Now it's a new set of concerns. Now I wonder if my son will ever live on his own. If he will be able to move away some day. If he will always live with me, or if his younger brother will have to step up and help him when I am gone. In this tough economy, who will hire an autistic adult? Will he suffer abuse and harsh treatment like so many other autistics? Have I been wrong to shelter him? Can I even teach him to cook for himself?
I am burned out yet again. I'm hoping my creativity will come back soon. It is very much missed. There will be another update on Monday-- one I drew and inked over Thanksgiving vacation. After that, I'm not sure when the next one will be. Hopefully before Christmas vacation starts. Drawing today was out of the question. I just couldn't manage it. Sorry.
Aggie
My oldest son, who I often call "Squirrel" decided to set a super hot skillet on my laminate countertop Saturday morning, burning the shit out of it. He couldn't wait for Spam to cook at "4" on the dial.. no no.. he had to put the halogen burner on "HI" and then wonder why the kitchen was filling with smoke from the burning hot oil.
So my countertop, brand new BTW, now has three chunks melted out of it. In a fit of rage, I took him to Home Depot, got a new countertop to the tune of 79.00 and a new circular saw (Merry Fucking Christmas mom. You get a new power tool. Sorry that you had to pay for it yourself.) By the time I paid for end caps and sealant for the sink, it was 135.00 for his fun fun mistake.
He now owes me labor around the house at 5.00 an hour to make up for it. I already got my gutters cleaned out at 2 hours of work. Only 125.00 to go!
My living room is a mess now. I have a new countertop on the floor. I have to cut a hole out of it for the sink. Tools are all over my dining room floor waiting. It will all get done come vacation, which is two weeks away.
Mentally-- I'm wondering how long I can make it with an autistic teen. When he was little, it was more difficult in many ways. A five year old child laying on the floor throwing a fit in public is a huge embarassment. You stop going out. You stop having friends over. Your friends just stop coming around. People look at you like you're a bad parent. It's your fault your kid is a freak show.
Now it's a new set of concerns. Now I wonder if my son will ever live on his own. If he will be able to move away some day. If he will always live with me, or if his younger brother will have to step up and help him when I am gone. In this tough economy, who will hire an autistic adult? Will he suffer abuse and harsh treatment like so many other autistics? Have I been wrong to shelter him? Can I even teach him to cook for himself?
I am burned out yet again. I'm hoping my creativity will come back soon. It is very much missed. There will be another update on Monday-- one I drew and inked over Thanksgiving vacation. After that, I'm not sure when the next one will be. Hopefully before Christmas vacation starts. Drawing today was out of the question. I just couldn't manage it. Sorry.
Aggie
posted by Aggie Janicot at
8:55 PM
1 Comments:
I was expecting to read about you in the paper the next day. "Mom Skins Boy in Kitchen with dull butterknife...News at 11."
But sanity won out. Thank the Gods for small favors, like your last 6 marbles and a shred of dignity. ;)
It might take this one a bit longer but I bet he will do better than you expected. I think of all of the people out there who should have been diagnosed with Autism and Aspergers, but weren't, who still managed to get by or do better than that, then I think there is hope for him and many others. You get the job of setting him straight. No small task for anyone.
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